Mama Moments Blog
Here we are, back here again! Exploring our own back gardens, learning at the kitchen table, somewhat out of routine with an anxious moment or two… or three! The recent surge of cases has made this lockdown all the more necessary, but also all the more anxiety inducing. After our first run in with the word lockdown last year, we never thought we would be back here again, logging our kids onto Zoom and Seesaw and muddling our way through.
"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." - Norman Vincent Peale
I’ve said it before and will say it again and again – self-care is not selfish! Self-care is the act of self-compassion, self-love, appreciation, and recognition of you as a person. But! I will be the first to admit, it is not always as simple as saying, “see ya, I’m off to read my book!” Little feet, and pawing hands often follow us or the niggling to do list taps away on our minds.
I had planned a solo day off for several weeks. I was DYING for it, and of course then life happened and instead of a blissful solo day of rest, I ended up with two kids at home with me all day. I told myself I would still try to rest although with kids in tow I thought it was going to be fairly impossible. Turns out it wasn’t so bad. It may not have been the day I was looking for, but a day of rest was still possible. How did I do it?
Ever heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? It explains how we as humans need our basic needs met first, before any other needs higher up the scale can be met. We all push ourselves all the time to be hyper productive and achieve more. But when our basic health and safety are constantly under threat, as they have been in 2020, it’s incredibly hard to work on higher needs. And THAT is part of why you are so tired right now.
Recently, in the last year especially, we have been sold this idea of life changing mindfulness. But what exactly is it and how can we benefit from it? Many of us wrongfully tie mindfulness in with meditation and instantly sit cross legged, taking deep breaths before our mind wanders to what’s in the freezer for dinner. Let’s start off with recognising that mindfulness is not meditation.
Lockdown 2.0 may have been sold to us as a much less intense experience. With schools remaining open, many of us are maintaining the routine we have almost become accustomed to, but it is not without its stresses. The fear, the worry and simply not wanting to accept how life has noticeably changed this year. But living under negativity is not good for us.
Forming networks, whether in real life or online, is so important for new mothers. We get the peer advice and support we need to manage life as a parent. There can be a hidden problem, however, an echo chamber can form. Instead of feeling supported and listened to, we become trapped and blend into a life which does not necessarily reflect ours. A negativity spiral is let loose.
So many of us stay in jobs that we’re unhappy in for years because we have bills to pay. We think we can’t afford to lose our salary because we won’t be able to pay the mortgage, childcare etc. But most of the time we are completely wrong because we’ve never actually sat down and run the numbers.
You may have heard me talk before about when I decided to leave my corporate job, but you may not realise just how much that corporate world was encouraging me to sacrifice so much of my life. As always with things like this, it’s a slow burn, a gradual build up until we say enough is enough. And that is exactly how it happened for me.
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