We can, at times, get the impression that we need to “work” on being an introvert. Fix it. Change how we see and approach the world. Be different, perhaps better. And by that I mean, the world may prefer the extroverted, energetic, pulsating and unrestrained people who actually exhaust us. Society can seem to encourage us to be more outgoing, talkative and, by affect, apparently more affable. But that is an assumption. And a wrong one at that.
We don’t need to step outside of our introvertism or fight against any of our unique characteristics, no matter how uncomfortable someone may feel in our silent company. We don’t have to force ourselves to go to large gatherings, turn up our volume, or avoid spending time alone. Instead, we can embrace the qualities that make us the person we are, find the value in them, and nurture our attributes.
There are a world of benefits to being an introverted mother. But it can be a little hard to recognise these advantages as the world may seem to value being loud, outwardly social, and a little more vibrant than we can handle.
So, let us count the ways being an introverted Mama is beneficial and what our introvertism can teach our kids.
The Benefits of Being an Introverted Mama
When we look at our flaws and skills as a parent, we find confidence in recognising the areas we feel we are succeeding at. Being an introvert can feel like a weakness but that’s because we are placing it in the wrong column. Let’s pop it into the skills column and recognise the benefits of being an introverted Mama.
We Are The Calm in Their Storm
We understand the importance of peace, quiet, contentment, and inner thought. When our worlds become excitable, overwhelming, and exhausting, we recognise the value in retreating, regrouping, and refreshing. Because of this, when our children’s worlds become a little more chaotic than they can handle, we become the calm in their storm. We help them to hold space for themselves and allow them to ease the wind and rain storming their minds.
We Understand Them Better Than Anyone
As an introvert we can truly understand someone, recognise when they are hurting, and know when we are needed. We have the ability to step back and see them for who they are. Due to our quiet introverted nature, we are more aware and perceptive of the people around us. Our empathy may be stronger, and our understanding of the needs of others greater because we are more in tune with others including our children. We naturally listen to them and give them the time and space to express themselves, meaning we may understand them and their fluctuating emotoins more than anyone else.
We React Less And Respond More
We are naturally more connected to our feelings as an introvert which means we are less likely to become volatile quickly. The frustrations of parenting do not change whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. However, we are more likely to pause before reacting to a situation and process everything under the surface. In this way, we are likely to respond to our children’s (and our own) needs, rather than angrily, sharply, or intensely react when all hell breaks lose in the sitting room.
We Show Empathy
In the same way, we are more likely to show empathy to our children’s feelings and needs, especially if they are also navigating towards being an introvert.
What An Introverted Mama Teaches Her Kids
While being an introverted mother can help us in the everyday motions and emotions of mothering, it also helps us to teach our kids about some of the finer qualities of life itself.
To Challenge The Misconceptions
There any many fallacies about being an introvert. Highlighting these in a way that will encourage our kids to nurture not only our qualities as an introvert, but their own unique qualities, can help our kids to challenge all misconceptions conjured by an unaccepting society. There are misconceptions that introverts are shy, quiet, selfish, boring, and friendless. We know this is so far from the truth and that the world is full of misunderstandings. By challenging these false ideas, we teach our kids to not take things at face value and to investigate and challenge misconceptions for themselves.
To Enjoy Their Own Company
For some it can take a concerted effort to find comfort in their own company, to embrace isolation, and understand that being alone does not mean loneliness. By showing our children the importance of retreating within ourselves, we teach them to enjoy their own company.
To Embrace Independence
Going our own way is a strong component of being an introvert. Our independence comes through in how we don’t follow the crowd, how we appreciate and value our uniqueness, and how we are comfortable in our own company. We teach our children to embrace their independence and maintain their values by standing their ground.
To Process Their Emotions
Introverts are more likely to lean towards healing their inner child, focusing and working on emotional wounds that need healing, and naturally process their emotions. We look at our situations and emotions from all angles, work through understanding the how and why of our feelings, and figure out a plan of action to cope, move, on and evolve. As we do this for ourselves, we also help our children to process their own emotions.
Reframing Being An Introverted Mother
Making these positive connections between being an introvert and how we mother can help us to accept and work with every aspect of our personalities. How do you feel about being an introvert, and what positive introverted traits can you recognise as being beneficial in your own motherhood journey?