How meaningful our lives are can depend on how connected we are with our true selves.
We have celebrated and loved ourselves throughout this month of love instead of waiting for someone else to show us thoughtfulness and kindness. We have looked deep inside our hearts and minds to find and hold on to our compassionate selves and, most importantly, discovered how to show ourselves compassion and empathy.
Now, we can continue to put all of that into practice and build a lasting connection with ourselves.
What Is Personal Connection?
When we think about our relationships, we can look at them as being built on a few different elements – respect, love, admiration, attachment, communication and connection. We can put many of these things in place when it comes to our relationship with ourselves. But to truly feel connected with those around us, we need to connect with ourselves first. There is no relationship more important than the one you have with yourself.
In its simplest form, connecting with ourselves means recognising our reactions and the emotions that arise in us, including the sensations we feel, our thoughts, and our impulses. If we ignore ourselves, we can not respond in a way that will benefit us and give us what we need. This connection is about understanding who we are, what makes us tick, and continually discovering and learning about ourselves. It’s about knowing our strengths and weaknesses, passions and fears, goals and plans.
How To Know If You Are Disconnected?
We may think we know ourselves very well. We have, after all, spent a while in this body and mind. We were there for every scar, felt every tear, uttered every word. But living does not mean we are connected to our lives or ourselves.
Signs that we are disconnected from ourselves include:
Being judgemental of ourselves
A loud inner critic
A lack of purpose
A pattern of harmful or toxic relationships
Anxiety or depression
Being disconnected is more common than you think, considering we are encouraged to live a life very much online rather than simply at home. We are persuaded to share, compare, and heighten our standards.
We may constantly strive for more, for better, for anything other than who we are and what we want.
Our goals are set against a stranger, so when we take a step back, there is a large void between who we are and who we want to be.
How To Build A Lasting Connection With Yourself
If you have found yourself saying yes to any of the above signs, you are disconnected but don’t worry. You can still build a lasting connection with yourself, and it is sure to change your drive for life, compassion for yourself, and love for your mind, body, and soul and reignite your relationship with yourself.
Think about our romantic relationships and our friendships. They are constant and continual work. We don’t simply glide along week by week and expect our relationships to stay the same. We connect, communicate, admire, and encourage our partners and friends. The same is the case for our connection with ourselves. We are a constant work in progress, which is perfectly ok.
Luckily though, there are simple ways to stay connected with our hearts and minds.
Check-In With Yourself
What do you do when your friend goes off the radar for a while, or you haven’t heard from her in about a week? You check in on her. A quick text to say “Hey, how are you?” or a no-obligation, two-minute phone call to ensure everything is alright. Well, how often do we check in on ourselves? How often do we sit and hold ourselves in a protective space asking ourselves, “Am I OK?”
Take time every morning or evening to pause. Recognise the feelings you are holding, how tense your body is, the thoughts in your head.
Notice Your Triggers
We continually talk about recognising our feelings and honouring them. By doing this, we give ourselves the time and attention to feel our emotions, good and bad, accepting them and allowing them to move on if necessary. We often forget to highlight the importance of noticing our triggers – those small incomprehensible moments that set us off into frustration, anger, or sadness. These emotions are just as valid as the happy ones.
If we ignore our complex emotions, we ignore a relevant and strong part of our personality and lives and may potentially bury them far too deep, which will cause problems in the long run. Be honest and open with yourself about all of your feelings.
Listen To Your Body
Our bodies are incredible. Just look at what they have done to get us to this point of motherhood. Are you sleeping well? Does your body feel continually tired, sore, weary? Are there specific limbs or areas of your body screaming at you? Do you carry on regardless?
Listen to your body and give it what it needs. A rest? A mindful yoga session? A brisk walk in the cool evening air? A hot bath? And remember, we can follow the needs of our body by tuning in to our menstrual cycle. The ebbs and flows of our cycle can profoundly affect our lives. Connecting with that cycle encourages a greater connection with ourselves.
Hit The Pause Button
We are so busy. Oh, so busy. But it’s important we hit the pause button every so often. Without pausing, sitting still, listening to ourselves, we will struggle to connect with ourselves throughout the busyness of our days.
Make it a point to sit quietly in a room on your own to truly connect with yourself in a way that you will actively listen to what is happening in your mind, your heart, and your body. Connect and listen to the power inside you, the intense and vast person you are, Go deep into understanding everything there is to know and love about yourself.