Motherhood is complicated. It’s messy. It’s exhausting and dubious. It’s overwhelming and passionate. It’s rewarding and yet lacking. It’s the very reason parenthood is considered a rollercoaster as we laugh with the highs and shout with the lows. And because of its constant questionable nature, we fall into a cycle of thinking we are not enough.
Where am I going wrong?
Why is this so hard?
Why can’t I catch a break?
Am I enough?
It’s safe to say a huge proportion of women have asked the same questions and rarely found an answer amid the school runs, the pizza dinners, and the first aid kit. We are propelled into motherhood without knowing what it will truly be like, what the challenges will be and how exactly they will pan out, how exhausting life with children will become, and whether we will ever catch a decent night’s sleep again. But this is motherhood in all of its overwhelming glory.
We learn on the job with no previous experience and no one to show us the ropes. Of course, we will question and doubt ourselves. It’s only natural. Questioning whether we are good enough comes with only one answer. Yes. Yes, we are.
But believing that yes is another thing.
So, let me tell you why you are enough. Without knowing you, without knowing your situation, without knowing what’s in your kids’ lunchboxes, I know you are enough. And by the end of this blog, you will recognise it too.
1.You Show Up
Every day. You are there. Our goal in motherhood is not to be perfect. And we certainly shouldn’t aim for it in any shape or form. We simply need to be there, every day, for the little people in our lives. To soothe cut hands, kiss tired heads, and unmuddle confusing friendship conundrums.
We don’t have to show up with pristine makeup, an ironed shirt, or even a smile on our face, but we can be there in our own sleep-deprived, mum-bun kind of way. To be good enough, we need to recognise that our best efforts are exactly what our family needs. We can’t be someone else or aim for someone else’s idea of motherhood. We are here. We show up. We are good enough.
2. You Challenge Yourself
Amidst the chaos and constant nature of motherhood, we find ourselves expanding, gaining new ground and challenging ourselves. Every milestone, every phase, every new age group is a challenge whether we know it or not which means we challenge ourselves constantly.
The thing is, without these challenges, we wouldn’t grow, change, and learn. Because we challenge ourselves, we are open to change, to work on things we know need to shift in our lives. Making these changes, challenging ourselves, even questioning if we’re good enough, shows us that yes, we are good enough, that we are motivated and growing.
3.You Face Your Fears
There are so many times in my own motherhood that I have felt the fear but did it anyway. It doesn’t take much more than a little one tugging on our trouser leg saying, “Come on Mama,” for us to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones.
When we face our fears, we are saying, “I will do my best. I will do everything. I will try.” Trying, making that effort is all we need to know that we are good enough.
4.You Are Accountable for Your Actions
Saying sorry and recognising our mistakes can often make us feel as though we are lacking or limited in some way. That we are not good enough. But, in truth, being accountable for our actions means the complete opposite. It proves that we are good enough, that we are human and will make mistakes. There is no parent in the history of this world who hasn’t made a mistake, who hasn’t wanted to start from scratch or try it all again.
We are allowed to make mistakes as a mother, as a woman, as a human. Our value is not in being perfect all of the time or knowing all of the answers. It’s knowing that we can get it wrong. That we are trying our best.
5.You Worry AboutBeing Good Enough
In such a wonderful juxtaposition of life, we worry about being good enough when we are exactly that already. We aim for more than we should because the expectation is that we have to mother or live a certain way, that we must reach for ideals that are unattainable. In truth, worrying about being good enough is a prime example of just that. But this is because we are already a good mama. We don’t have to reach for anyone else’s version of motherhood but look to what our own is.
Are you content with your own motherhood? Do you nurture yourself? Do your children fall into happy dreams after moments of connection with you?
We do not need to worry about being good enough, because we are already there.
Hear it in the gentle dreamy breathing of your sleeping children. See it in the mess of a happy home. Feel it in the sticky, snotty hugs and kisses. And find your good enough in your home, in your heart, in your contented motherhood.